The "Why" of the Wife's Submission
Yep, I'm gonna go there. đ This is actually going to be a part of a booklet Iâd like to do titled âBecoming a Meat-Eating Christian.â
Likewise wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives. - 1 Peter 3:11 (ESV)
After a hard day, Caroline plopped in her chair, alone only a moment before the children came bounding into the apartment destroying the serenity she so much needed. Striving to be a single mother, she recalled why she and Jeff had separated six months ago. She wanted, no, she deserved a remodel of her house. She had been tired of all the scrapes and stains on the walls, floors, and counters. Tired of picking up after the kids every day: their toys, their clothes, their books. Tired of just everything! If only she had been able to add a playroom; certainly the toys would have stayed in there; no more of the kids running around the house, destroying it like they did her peace of mind. Jeff had said no, they couldnât afford to go in debt, that maybe they could start saving up for it. But they might have been able to afford that extra payment with some belt-tightening, so why not help her if it eased her strain? She had thought he was being selfish.
Now only six months later, Caroline found that working outside the home was fully as tiring as working inside. Not only that, she missed the time she had spent with the kids. Good quality time, not these few cramped hours where she had to cook, direct their homework and their personal hygiene, clean the house, wash the clothes, on and on. She just didnât have the time, the energy, or the temperament to pull it all off on her own. Maybe Jeff was right. Maybe their home was actually good enough to raise the children in without having to remodel the whole place. Having made a decision, Caroline picked up the phone and dialed Jeff. She was ready to go back home.
Todayâs world is hard. Itâs hard for men. Itâs hard for women. Itâs especially hard for children. We, as wives, should delve into what Peter draws attention to in the above verse. He wasnât saying we had to bow down like slaves, but we do need to realize that God had intended for a hierarchy in the family unit. The word âsubjectâ means to place oneself âunder [Godâs] arrangement.â God meant for there to be one final decision maker in the family as it saves on chaos.
In the family household God intends for this to be the husband; however, that doesnât mean you donât have a say in it all. Peter gives advice on how to better communicate with your husband. He points out that men respond better to the outward behavior of a woman than her words, especially if they can see if the actions are coming from within her. The word he used for âconductâ actually emphasizes an âupturn of inner beliefs which causes a change to the outward behavior.â Youâve heard the adage âHoney attracts more flies than vinegar.â Itâs true, just like Peter pointed out here (he, being a man, wouldâve known).
Prayer: Father, I ask that when times come up when I want to disagree and argue with my husband, the Holy Spirit reminds me of this Scripture, that I will remember to act in the way that I witness the best for you. In the name of Jesus, amen.
Further reading: Proverbs 12:4 1 Corinthians 7:4 Ephesians 5:22 Titus 2:5
©2023 Kelly Hartley
Kelly L. Hartley, a new author, writes Bible studies, devotions, fiction, and poems. She focuses on Bible contradictions for her âSpare Time Musingsâ on Substack. Sheâs a member of Ozark Chapter of American Christian Writers and Springfield Writerâs Guild. Social media: Substack, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram.
I was just thinking about the difference between Godly submission and the submission the world teaches this afternoon.